17 September 2009

Dear World

Dear Motorcycle Rider:

I know why you don't wear your helmets. I get it! You're hip, you're cool, you've got sweeter hair than everyone else! Those helmets? Well, they flatten even the most hair sprayed coif and give you that ridiculous helmet head. You want everyone, and anyone, who's anybody to see who's riding that sweet ride. Zooming in and out of traffic, all cool on top of your chrome and rubber. Hello...gooooooodbyyyyyyeeeeee! Wheeeeee!

So I get the helmet thing. I get it! But you know what I don't get? Why, or why do you attach it to your bike? Is a helmet the neat new accessory for motorcycles? Do you color coordinate the helmet to the bike to that fancy jacket you wear? If there are two riders, why would you make the person in the rear have to take up half of their already limited cheek space to nonchalantly hang a helmet off the side? Oh, and another thing. When there are two riders and only one helmet, how do you decide who gets to wear the helmet? The driver? The passenger? The girl? The younger person? The older? Who? When I am driving behind you (always too aware of how close I am to you) I cannot help but wonder these things. Is there a quidebook somewhere? An instruction manual for newbies? Helmet Wearing for Dummies?

Because really, do you know how hard it is to scrape brains off of a windshield? Plus, I'm pretty sure it would not coordinate with my paint job.

Any light you can shed on these matters would be most appreciated! Really driving would become a much more pleasant experience for me (and anyone who rides with me). Truly? Just leave your insight in the comments.




  1. Love your letter -- so true! I feel the same way when I'm behind a motorcycle.

  2. Oh! I SOOOO hear you on this one! With the HUGE WHITE Vanpool that I drive, and they just zip in and out around us...hello!!! We can't stop on a dime, ya know!

  3. So many times I see no helmets, skimpy shorts and a t-shirt on motorbikes and I just wonder if these people have a death wish. Seriously....



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